Without much pause, I refused the promotion. "I can't do this. It's a few weeks until school. I'm not even certified for this." All of these thoughts, fueled by self-degradation, arrived in spite of the encouraging that had prefaced the promotional offer. I wasn't able to see my own potential because my own fears and insecurities had drawn the black-out shades on a brighter future.
Fear is one of the strongest and, tragically, most motivating emotions out there. A recent television special on children with OCD featured teens whose paralyzing fear made them prisoners of their own minds. One girl missed school for months because of her fear of on-campus germs. This girl had attempted suicide in her desperation to escape walls that her own psyche had constructed. The unifying theme suggested that with proper counseling and medication, these kids might one day be able to function normally in life.
I wonder, however, how many people counsel themselves through fears of equitable intensity in everyday life? While OCD may lead people to extremes, everyone has some belief or another that causes them to make decisions that are "out of their hands." Many people I've met, though, can sympathize with this level of fear. It's the fear that keeps them from flying to visit faraway relatives, it's the fear that keeps them in a dead-end job, it's the fear that makes keeping one's mouth shut that much easier.
What would change if everyone stopped asking the "realistic" or negative "What if?" questions and started considering all the positive repercussions of a gutsy, "all in" decision making process? Fears cause us all to walk around like lepers and freak-show carnies, taking ourselves out of the running for things that are absolutely possible because our insecurities mar our identities.
Don't live life thinking, "Well, the NEXT time this chance come around, I'm going to take it." Take it the first time.
